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About Cologne

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Streets? Man, we got Rattenweg, all twisty-turny little lanes – ddamn, I’ve lost count! And oh, the iconic Flussufer street hugs the Wienzer River. We laugh near its frothy banks, yesss, precious, its waters whispering secrets.

Wolves Were Once Extinct in Germany, but This Week, a Man Was Bitten by One